Four minutes until I can fart!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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