i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
