you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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