My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
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I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
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When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.