Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.

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(256): View more from Alabama

So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.

(256): View more from Alabama

that was the beginning of the end.

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(416): View more from Ontario

you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(620): View more from Kansas

Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.

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(772): View more from Florida

I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.

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(330): View more from Ohio

NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED

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