I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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