I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar