she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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