3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
