Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
