is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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