He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
