it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
