I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
