I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
