She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
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I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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