If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
