her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
well you can't waste a boner
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
