I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
did i walk over a car last night?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
