You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
