sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
