If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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