The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
How naked do you want me to be?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
