I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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