fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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