so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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