it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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