her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
