you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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