your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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