That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
