I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it because I queefed?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need to calm my uterus...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
