And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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