you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am midnight drunk by noon
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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