we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
