Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize