Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
3 2 1 whiskey
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
