So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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