Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
