she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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