i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
