Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i will never coherently bang her
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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