I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize