im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
