People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
