rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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