what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
