The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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