In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
