But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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