Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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