How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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