Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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