Already got asked if we're dating
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
